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Yes another horoscope moment! [Jun. 9th, 2008|04:21 pm]
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[Current Mood |Random]

Capricorn
December 21 - January 19
Things seem to be going quite well for you in many respects, dear Capricorn. Your thinking is clear, your emotions are under control, and the puzzle pieces are fitting into place. This is your time to take advantage of these pockets of good fortune and turn them into huge treasure chests. One little spark is all it takes to light a forest fire. You have the power within you to make anything happen. Especially now!

I hope this means the first of my 3 finals went well! That would seriously cause a spark thats for sure.
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Finishing touches. [Jun. 7th, 2008|01:33 pm]
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Today is the official moving in day to my apartment. I got the stuff out of storage I'm getting more free stuff from the program and from a few area churches so I'll have  more then enough stuff to organize it all. Once I have I'll take some pictures and I'm also taking some special pics for my Rikku Kat ^.~ Yes I will let your minds wonder about those. I'm very excited and immensely happy for my Rikku Kat in landing the job she's always wanted. Now that I have a place again and she has a great job we can both begin to save up for when its finally time for me to be  by her side where i belong forever more. In short things are going great for us both and our  future life together is  moving ever nearer.  Again I ant ot thank everyone for supporting me and my being with  Kat. Your all amazing and thank you so much for all the support and kindness.

Also at Archon in which I seriously hope I am able to go, I'm still going to propose to her.

Also #2 I finished the letter I will be sending to Kat soon along with the many things I've got for her. I hope she likes them.
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Seki picture search. [Mar. 20th, 2008|12:54 pm]
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Well I'm currently looking for an actual picture of Seki (As I never have truly found one that seemed to fit her perfectly. Which is why I tend to change her appearance.) I have found a group of photo-bucket pictures I really like however. So I may finally spend a little time defining Seki's 100% stay like it is form. I'm tired of changing her appearance.

I miss my Kat since where I'm staying only gives me a "Wrong number" response every-time I call. ~.~ Grrz
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Feline Employment! [Mar. 17th, 2008|02:26 pm]
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[Current Mood |accomplished]

Mew.

Yes mew. XD

I'm hyper and oddly, for once, not an ounce bit nervous. My life is heading forwards at long last and the past is becoming what its meant to be. The past. I nervously went into the Victoria Secret job interview today..

I came out a very confident girl who has a JOB. I nailed it i was just told I needed to be more open and outspoken though thats easily corrected. I'm still new to living in the moment and chasing after the day I can help Kat have her own place and then visit and finally move down to be with the one I love. I start tonight and am seriously looking forward to it! ^^! It is one of my favorite stores and I love the atmosphere. Even more I'll be getting a pay check which helps out alot since I will must have proof of an income to have a chance at the aparment I want. Right on the water too! And the max rent since its housing is only about 120. Though I think mine is going to be 75$ a month and no utilities fee! Which means its time to save up for my next goals I mentioned above concerning my Smitten Kitten. The Goddess truly has answered my prayers. I have someone who I immensely love, respect, and adore. I also now as of this evening / tonight, have a job. I hope my life changing events continue to be such a blessing.
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Something funny. [Mar. 1st, 2008|01:49 pm]
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1. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

2. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

3. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

4. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

6. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

7. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

8. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

9. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

10. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

11. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

12. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

14. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

15. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

16. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

17. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

18. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

19. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

20. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

21. Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

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Nya mew Kat! Life updates#2 [Mar. 1st, 2008|12:50 pm]
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[Current Mood | excited]

I love being downtown, its so much more active and busy and there are tons of shops I actually like going to. I've been helping Dawn to find here a building to either rent or buy outright for her tattoo shop. Which I will probably help out with as far as setting things up and coming into give extra help to once she has it up and running. Dawn has said she may give me a job of looking out for things if her place does well in the coming months. As in a real job if I haven't nabbed one before then. Thats the one thing pissing me off. All the places have "Now hiring." And they won't fucking hire anyone. *Shakes fist at them all.* I'm not worried though just venting a little bit. I more focus on where I wish to be and don't really care what must be done to get there. As for who I think it obvious. I'm forever Kats. She's touched my soul.


There's not much else new other then job training comming up. So I have to take tests off and on for a month on top of my college work. (Yes I'm still in college I didn't drop out amazingly. It's complicated.) I got back more papers today on transferring colleges. As I deeply wish to move closer to Kat. The loneliness kicks my ass more then usual of late. I even start getting a 25$ check for the job training for bus fare. Though I'll most likely not use it for what its being given for XD

I'm opening a bank account soon and am going to be finding out if I'd be allowed to add Kat as the account owner. We'd both be able to put in / take out money if we really need some extra. I trust her with everything. I love her so deeply and really want to call her but my celly is just not going to co-operate just yet. I yearn to hear my amazing loves voice. Oh and I'm making a catgirl language!

Nya mew - I Love you
Nya nya nya - Immensely happy
Na no da - Entirely random kitty moment

Also Dawn is going to be inking my tattoo for the last time once her place is up and running smoothly. As in making it permanent. I like the end result of it. A fairy holding a globe with the words " Kats girl " within the globe. Only the Kats girl part will not be made permanent. Not as though anything or anyone could ever take me away from my divine loved one anyway.
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LifeLife update [Feb. 26th, 2008|01:44 pm]
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Ok so this is how things are right now:

Dawn and I are out of the dorms because they just sucked basically lol.
We're both enrolled in a program that helps with housing, jobs training, that sort of thing and it lasts roughly 2 months. So hopefully by then we both will have a place and I will begin saving to help buy a house with my Kat. Also so we'll have some to fall back on i was thinking of trying to take out a loan and open a bank account for me and her. ^^ Because I love her so. I'll be off and on when able. Thats about it in a nutshell. Oh!

Kat she finished that design she told you about for you! And finished / inked in my design for me so yays! Lifeslittle by little going right. I'll only say it is right when I step off a plane/bus and am in my Kats arms and meeting those she knows.
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Two hearts [Feb. 20th, 2008|02:49 pm]
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                                                                               ::~Two hearts beat as one~::

It was gentle evening by the way the light trickled in through the colored stained window frame. The soft sound of swaying leaves creating a gentle evening lullaby. The soft glowing traces of a perfect sunset danced across the soft colored wall opposite the window from where it shined its light through. Only a soft sigh was heard from beneath the covers lazily sunbathing upon the queen sized bed on which they lay. The two femmes snuggled up happily against the others loving shared embrace. One softly mewing out her contentment while the other held her close and smiled. Little else could be heard, only the sound of their joined voices shared that their wish had finally come true. Both listening to the others warm beating heart under their breasts. The same timed beating just as it was the same deep heartfelt love which both felt and shared.

"I'm finally home my Rikku Kat." One softly purred.

"Welcome home my Angel Ashely." Came the others whispered reply.

This is the true beginning of their two hearts beating as one.

for more go to : ( Site under construction! Will update soon. )



Our hearts truly have begun to beat as one I feel. I could wish for nothing better to happen. Our loves full blown and the tiny rose is blossoming into a well and beautiful flower.Just as our love is. Kat I love you and wish to be your wife one day in the coming future. I am yours.
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One dizzy feline today though immensely happy. [Feb. 19th, 2008|03:40 pm]
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[Current Mood | hopeful]

Oi!

Today has been hectic with running anywhere and everywhere. Trying to keep up with class papers and somehow managing to show up at three different interviews and still find the time to continue to hit anywhere that puts up a hiring sign in de window.

All this = One paw tied tired kitty. x . x

However...

I was thinking alot of my beloved last night..Of how better it would be for her if I was there or close by enough to where I could come to her and her to me need be. I'm in college I thought why not try and transfer DOWN THERE!?!

I don't know if I can though this is something of high priority in finding out. I want to be there for the woman I love and cherish and in the long term everything going well between her and I. Marry. She's the only one I can honestly name without thinking when I look back at my ex's list. I just wish to please her in every way possible..

I want a home for her for us. Supporting each other with jobs we both enjoy. Being a married happy couple. Even going so far as seeing if we could adopt a baby girl and raise her together. I want all of her dreams to come true. Her dreams are my dreams. I sleep when she closes her eyes. I wake every morn knowing / hoping that she knows I love her faithfully and eternally.
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Celly + Smitten Kitten = Bliss [Feb. 18th, 2008|09:55 am]
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[Current Mood | relaxed]

Aye an entry about a cell phone. XD

I finally have a new one, which means I have one more way to communicate with my beloved. I need to get more minutes first though I nearly used all my remaining minutes texting her my # and that it was me. I'm excited, we're moving one step ever closer to our shared dream of being together for real. Now if I can only net a job and start saving up to help support us both things would be perfect. As if their not already, I have Kats heart and she has mine.

My parents aren't as negative towards my chosen sexuality as much either, as least my mother has dubiously somewhat accepted the fact her daughters a happy lesbian. So maby I'll gain some help from her if I ever should need it. I really am looking forward to talking with Kat by voice. Once I'm there I'm so looking forward to meeting those she knows and cares about!!! Mew. I already like Cindy! *Nicknames her CinCin.* I thank her for her support for Kat and I !!!
I'm just bubbly and happy today.
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Comment thingy ^^ [Feb. 13th, 2008|05:08 pm]
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I think this is sweet to do. ("\ =^.^= /")
Comment on this entry, and I will:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.
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My long term to do list! [Feb. 12th, 2008|12:18 pm]
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[Current Mood | bouncy]

Life is life and it always moves forward.

Hopefully soon I'll have a steady job, at wall-mart no less XD My sometimes second home when I'm bored out of my mind. Things with my parents are as usual sketchy and drama filled so I simply stay away, not that I'm missed by them anyways..

I hate the state I live in, small towns mostly linked together, even downtown is uneventful but far nicer to roam and explore. I actually have a GOAL list now!!

1. Get a decent job and save up to help support me and my Smitten Kitten.
2. Get her a present and a pair of promise rings to show my deep love for her.
3. Go to where I belong. By my Smitten Kittens side
4. Get an engagement ring worthy of Kat.
5. Propose to my beloved!!
6. Be a success in writing.
7. Save up enough to see if  can learn why I throw up blood when I get to upset....
8. Finish my first cos outfit. x.x

The order isn't really important, their just simply my high priority goals in life. Why I live each day. Who I live for each day.
.
.
.
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Why I love a very special lady named Kat. [Feb. 6th, 2008|10:55 am]
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[Current Mood | thoughtful]

Ever just find yourself in the morning in front of a mirror and simply staring dumbly within it because you see yourself with someone whom your have fallen and become to feel inside that your heart beats only because of how they love and care about you?
It's all I've done for weeks now..Not complaining in the least though! It's just hard to keep one's shields firm, I'm speaking when I first met my Smitten Kitten. Her very first words to me shattered those eternal defenses to that which I had clung to for years. That one moment my heart was willingly given to her and at first I was entirely unawares. I couldn't stop thinking of her, missing her, wanting to know how she was and that she was happy, and even crying when I learned she was hurt and abandoned. Then pissed because of what I felt emanating from her. She wanted to love and be loved..Just like I. And when we suddenly grasped emotional hands palm in palm I knew. I had no reason to be afraid anmyore. That this was who completed me. I'll not correct any typo's from this point on because I am in fact lightly crying as my fignertips type the words from my heart. And for once its a good cry. I also wanted to mention something of why I once decide to kill my emotional self forever more. I am immensely blessed Kat revived that within me, and so easily too.
This next bit is a bit graphic and depressing but is the only way I can portray why I am so attached and in love with her. Why I thank the goddess each night I was blessed to be hers and only hers. Under the line following is the depressing part I feel must be said.
-------------------------------
Five years.

Five years of loyalty, of hope, of utter trust and what I thought was love. Of course I've only had a few brushes with love and was learning but..
Well in short it died or I should say I died that evening. Or would have. I had always held a deep attachment to whom I was dating. I mean the person is part of your world and why your alive, you know?
Of course I've also had a habit of when I'm at my worst and seriously upset if I'm not watched I'd end up suicidal. Not for attention or pity or whatever. Simply because I was truly demolished within. To put things simply I had a decent sized pocket knife and it was perfectly cold out ( Nearly freezing ) I took off and got a good distance away from where I was. I mean everything. Just the cold and the tree's, myself and my pocket knife.
I took off my jacket and shirt and held the knife above my breast..

I plunged it down...

Several times in fact at least three from what I remember and have complete loss of memory of what transpired next. I simply woke up angry and confused and entirely shattered in a hospital bed.  I only missed anything vital be inches. (Which only angered me more at the time) Then just allowed myself to die from within. I placed my shields up and locked them and " Lost " the key...

Until Kat, my Kitchie Smitten Kitten removed all my shields and pain with her personality, cuteness and love and care I feel she holds for me. So now I have nothing to fear for the first real time in quiet awhile.
I love her and never, ever, will leave her side. No matter what happens. Nothing matters more to me then my Smitten Kitten. My Kat. My Love.
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Idiot ex boyfriends latest message to me. Pretty pathetic wouldn't you agree? [Jan. 30th, 2008|01:08 pm]
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From my ex today:
"Yea I saw about the girl.. yea.. ya cheated on me.. and toyed with my emotions again.. but some reason I expected this and I aint going to rant. Im just going to say this. Thanks to my emotions I wasnt hurt, but what you did was act like a bitch, witch you truely are. I have no feelings for bitches. Later"

Funny how he can say that when every single person he dates or whats more hilarious befriends, never stays friends / lovers very long? Why? I'd think it's obvious. Complete unacceptance and  no real respect. If he doesn't like something about you, then he expects you to change yourself to suite his wants / needs / beliefs.

Hell just to date the idiot, which now I see nothing of what I thought was there. I was told to give up being pagan. it's my beliefs but he doesn't want anything to do with them. which would include dating / loving me because Wicca is my belief? And yet he loves me so completely?

I think I made my case here. Closed minded, no respect, and expects who he so desperately  "loves" to be who he wants them to be? He deserves to be alone, that and be made a munic, I sure wouldn't want his ignorance passed on to the next generation would you?

While I'm on the subject, HE also believes this: Two females can never love each other if its more then friends. it's just two sluts wanting sex. Whats more funny in his thought pattern is my roommate whom he's never even talked to has a girlfriend as well and they are immensely happy / in love. This idiot said to me they split up and he knows this from his beliefs. Hello does the words college room-mate mean nothing here? XD
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My perfect dream may soon be my perfect reality. [Jan. 24th, 2008|05:45 pm]
[Current Mood | hopeful]

I dream alot sometimes. It has been the only shelter I've had most of the time. Sure I've had friends, some come and some go and some stick by my no matter how emotional I get. For them I say thank you..


I always have one dream. One haunting dream that is more as if I don't even lay sleeping. I never ever see the persons face as its to dark but I always feel warm and comforted just in that persons presence. Warm and safe and I'm suddenly ripped away and locked up in a cold place. Broken and forgot, it's been a real living nightmare that never has truly let up. Though now I haven't been ripped away when it reoccurs. I've just been in that warm protective presence. I think it's because of  Kat. I've not once truly allowed my heart to lay fully out there among another arms. I often think I'm not strong. That I'm weak. Maby I am wrong concerning my own opinion of myself after-all. But since I have fully let loose my heart into Kat's warm grasp. I begin to feel that same warmth from my dreams. That same safety, and a intense desire to make sure I'm never ripped away from her. Sometimes I have to much time to think. Though I do know one thing, I'd not wish to live my life with another unless it was me being with Kat. I'd give up anything for that dream. I love her. So my perfect dream may in fact become my perfect reality. Safely held and protected in one very special girls arms. My Kat chan.
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Lesbian love confession : I Love Kat [Jan. 22nd, 2008|02:18 pm]
[Current Mood | content]

Love is love and the pieces of my broken heart are small enough to be passed through the eye of a needle..
Or have been till now. My interest and attraction to one very special lady. Her name is Kat. We share much in common, think alike, are both open and not shy to admit how we both feel. I love her. I have fallen in love with her over the time i first met her on facebook. Very sweet and really supportive. Also devilish and fun to talk to. The kind of person that always can make my heart race. Truly she is the only person who has had that much of a deep affect upon me in a very long time. I feel complete when I am able to talk to her online. Imagine when we start talking over the phone and then on that one fateful day our eyes meet and our lips touch in that first loving embrace. ^.^ Yes I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to this. I know Kat has been deeply hurt in her past. That I can't accept and won't have happen to her ever again. I have her now and am going to take damn good care of her now and forever. So she never has to cry again. That is my vow to her.

I LOVE YOU KATKAT!!!
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